so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I AM VODKA MAN
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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