Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize