U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
