I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
