so explain again why im purple
no
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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