My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
