we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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