why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
