whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
id be glad to
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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