Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
