Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
