yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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