WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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