READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
