On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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