This girl is more easily done than said...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
