Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So many bounce houses so little time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
