Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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