You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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