Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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