yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
