My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
