When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The struggles of a small town man whore
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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