they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
