i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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