there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
