you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
