Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
