I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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