i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize