Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
