Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
