Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
