Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish my penis had a tongue
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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