Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
