I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
