Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
