No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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