Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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