Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
