The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
