i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
