nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
