I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
