so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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