Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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