she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Your penis caused this!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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