Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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