he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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