bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
