cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
