If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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