Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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