yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
